Quick One Shot Session Report

Our heroes for this evening were:

Vim the human ranger

Lettuce the elf magic-user

Meme the half-orc barbarian

The party is approached by the Trash Man, a man who wears a trash can like a hermit crab and claims to have been contacted by the god of garbage. He tells them that a nearby ruin contains treasure and goblins, and that the god of garbage told him that they must visit it. He then bumbles off into an alleyway.

The party takes his advice and goes to the ruin. They encounter some goblins who were hiding in wooden crates. After a quick battle, they kill 4 of them, taking the last one hostage. Vim decides to leave while he still has all his bits attached. The remaining two adventurers reach a room with a checkerboard pattern for a floor. Lettuce falls through and hurts themselves badly, but is saved by Meme. They continue forward, encountering a band of halfling teenagers who threaten to kill the party to boost their reputation. Meme intimidates them into running off by cutting the goblin they have held hostage in half. 

The party then encounters some treasure floating in the air. It turns out the wealth is inside of a gelatinous cube. Lettuce kicks the cube, severely wounding her foot. Meme sets the cube on fire, causing it to flee deeper into the dungeon, before attempting medical aid on Lettuce. Lettuce’s foot is bandaged up and she is okay.

Meme and Lettuce find a green heart in a glass cube. Meme shatters the cube and licks the green heart, passing it to Lettuce, claiming that green hearts are “delicious”. Lettuce notices the heart is growing rapidly, and cuts it in half. This results in two hearts forming. Thinking fast, Lettuce burns the two regenerating hearts with one of Meme’s torches. 

The party proceeds to the end of the ruins, finding the burnt remains of the gelatinous cube, along with a pile of treasure, enough to last them a few weeks without work. They find a sword of remarkably poor quality, covered in rust and seemingly poorly balanced. A tag on the hilt reads “Trust Us, It’s Magical™”. 

The party leaves the ruins, and Meme takes the sword to the Trash Man. The Trash Man is in awe of its poor quality, and graciously pays the party 200 GP in exchange for it. 

Session ends at 10:50 PM.