Session Report For A Very Quick Online One Shot Game

Our heroes for this evening were:Meme the (now level 2) half-orc barbarianA bard whose name and race escapes me (level 1)A magic user whose name also escapes me (level 2)And, you guessed it, a dwarf cleric whose name is a mystery (level 1)

The party was investigating the Weirdwood forest, a dangerous wood off the edge of town. They had heard rumors of a creature that turns its victims into stone, guarding a magical weapon. 

The party first encounters a swarm of strangely coordinated rats, feasting on the mutilated and disgusting corpse of an orc. The rats are scared off, spreading out in a perfect circle after a quick fight. As the party proceeds deeper, they find some orcs taunting a dying snake. By reflex, the magic user kills one of the orcs with a magic missile, causing a quick but deadly battle that the orcs retreat from. Meme takes the snake and tries to patch it up to health.

The party finds a pit full of green snakes after the path branches, and recover a 500 GP necklace from the pit, in addition to freeing the snake, which the cleric heals. On the same path, the party finds a stream, where they fish for two hours and gather 17 fish. 

In a nearby clearing, the party finds a green forest lion, which meme successfully tames with his barbaric charm and a fresh fish. Moving on, the party comes to a clearing full of stone statues of humanoids and other creatures. In the center of the clearing is a tree stump with a 2 handed sword stuck in it.

The cleric unsuccessfully tries to free the sword from the stump, attracting the cockatrice that guards it. The beast fights with the party’s pet lion, which remarkably manages to avoid turning to stone. The killing blow to the reptilian beast is delivered by Meme’s great axe. Meme removes the sword from the stump, finding it as light as a dagger, due to its magic. 

Cannot recall session end time.

Session One Of A Game Run Through Discord

Our heroes for this evening were:

De the dragonborn thief

Lettuce the elf magic-user

Gnakia the gnome ranger

Jicama the half-orc bard

The party enters the Pink Rose bar, the only tavern in the town of Halfway, to meet with Spengis. Spengis is an ex-wizard whose bird familiar lives in his hat and finishes his sentences. He has put up a poster asking for adventurers to clear out a gnomish mansion full of bandits.

After a brief argument about payment, Alexa, the bar’s owner, steps in and threatens to cut the heads off of anybody who starts a fight in her bar. Gnakia persuades Alexa that they meant know harm, and using her charms convinces Spengis to raise the payment from 50 GP each to 55 GP each.

Spengis tells the party the history of the mansion, saying that “A while back some gnomish aristocrat named Bert had the brilliant idea of constructing a mansion on a necromancer’s property. Well, when the necromancer came on back to find some bearded bourgeousie having stolen his land, he was quite peeved. He slaughtered all the people inside, and buried the mansion by transmuting the rock beneath it into mud. Finally, the poor bastards were cursed to remain in the mansion forever afterwards as ghosts. It’s a shame really, old Bert threw some great parties.”

The party heads over to the mansion after Spengis gives them a map. The first room they enter is full of gnomish ghosts dancing in an undead ball, along with 5 bandits. After a quick skirmish, 1 of the bandits is killed with a magic missile and the other 4 are electrified by De’s lightning breath. 

The party continues East, only to encounter a bathroom containing a ghost, yelling at the party to leave him alone so he can put his clothes on. De finds 50 GP in the gnome’s skeleton’s pocket.

The party heads North and finds a beautiful golden chandelier. It falls on De, wounding her, and Lettuce casts enlarge person in order to make De strong enough to carry it. 

Session ends at 9:35

Memorable Quotes From This Session:
"One of them halfheartedly tries to stab you but is laughing too hard."
"Can I stabby stabby one of them?
"They're laughing at you and then they're not laughing at you because their organs are falling out."
"What are you going to do with the chandelier?" "I eat it."

Quick One Shot Session Report

Our heroes for this evening were:

Vim the human ranger

Lettuce the elf magic-user

Meme the half-orc barbarian

The party is approached by the Trash Man, a man who wears a trash can like a hermit crab and claims to have been contacted by the god of garbage. He tells them that a nearby ruin contains treasure and goblins, and that the god of garbage told him that they must visit it. He then bumbles off into an alleyway.

The party takes his advice and goes to the ruin. They encounter some goblins who were hiding in wooden crates. After a quick battle, they kill 4 of them, taking the last one hostage. Vim decides to leave while he still has all his bits attached. The remaining two adventurers reach a room with a checkerboard pattern for a floor. Lettuce falls through and hurts themselves badly, but is saved by Meme. They continue forward, encountering a band of halfling teenagers who threaten to kill the party to boost their reputation. Meme intimidates them into running off by cutting the goblin they have held hostage in half. 

The party then encounters some treasure floating in the air. It turns out the wealth is inside of a gelatinous cube. Lettuce kicks the cube, severely wounding her foot. Meme sets the cube on fire, causing it to flee deeper into the dungeon, before attempting medical aid on Lettuce. Lettuce’s foot is bandaged up and she is okay.

Meme and Lettuce find a green heart in a glass cube. Meme shatters the cube and licks the green heart, passing it to Lettuce, claiming that green hearts are “delicious”. Lettuce notices the heart is growing rapidly, and cuts it in half. This results in two hearts forming. Thinking fast, Lettuce burns the two regenerating hearts with one of Meme’s torches. 

The party proceeds to the end of the ruins, finding the burnt remains of the gelatinous cube, along with a pile of treasure, enough to last them a few weeks without work. They find a sword of remarkably poor quality, covered in rust and seemingly poorly balanced. A tag on the hilt reads “Trust Us, It’s Magical™”. 

The party leaves the ruins, and Meme takes the sword to the Trash Man. The Trash Man is in awe of its poor quality, and graciously pays the party 200 GP in exchange for it. 

Session ends at 10:50 PM.